Blog Post #9

• BLOG POST #9: What questions, reflections, learnings stick out to you? How do you share your identity/ies in youth spaces? How are your identity(ies) affirmed or not? 

    To focus on identities within a youth space, I have to say that I think this is an interesting question and subsequently had to ponder upon it. Overall, I believe the way I am perceived varies greatly from youth to youth and from setting to setting. For instance, in some youth settings, I held leadership positions that required me to focus more on program logistics and management while in other instances I held positions where I work directly with the youth. In all honesty, I believe that the best identity and perception I get from youth is when I am in direct service and where I am able to connect most with them.

Recently there was a youth volunteer at my workplace who was crying due to personal life circumstances. One of our staff members had a conversation with them although at that moment, I felt drawn to help. I sat across that room and simply asked if everything was okay, he proceeded to explain some of the struggles he was going through. Throughout this, I simply listened and asked questions as I knew that there weren't any direct answers to his problems that I could give him. During our conversation, he mentioned how connected he is with boxing and MMA and described the empowering feeling that he gets right before he starts a fight. Specifically, he said, "Its an incredible experience because at that moment you may be yelling and screaming at the person in front of you who you are supposed to fight with but in reality, there is this feeling of mutual connection that when the bell goes off you have a shared goal and opportunity to just be fully present and fully focus on what you are trying to accomplish." Although I put this in quotes, that was not his exact words and I wish I could truly capture what he said. He explained his experience in such a way that I was able to fully visualize and connect with what he was saying, I couldn't help but say move towards that! He has found something in his life that he is passionate about, he understands the power that MMA has had on him and his state of mind and sense of self. (I look forward to him running our future MMA Program in the Spring)

    Moving from this he mentioned how he looked towards me and another coworker and suggested that when we walk into the workplace that "we are glowing." This was a sweet compliment although he then went on to say that he wished that he was able to dress up and take care of ourselves in the way that we do. Following this, I acknowledged my importance of fashion and self-expression as a tool to help me feel confident in taking on the day. I mentioned that it is the little things that have helped me gain this sense of self-confidence and the importance of self-care. I felt like this was significant because from the outside, based off of my appearance youth and others may not know some of the struggles that I have gone through and have overcome. I opened up to him about some negative past experiences that I had specifically at Woonsocket Middle School and also growing up without much support or a sense of self-empowerment. I connected with him in regards to being within a violent school setting (not an organized empowering setting) and also financial struggles.

    Although I am very grateful for where I am now unless I get the chance to really talk and open up about my past youth don't realize that some of the struggles they are experiencing I to have witnessed and luckily have been able to move away from. Our conversation ended off in a really great way because not only was I able to reflect on the significant growth I have seen within my self, but he was also able to joke and feel more connected with me through our shared struggles. Overall, he was able to acknowledge that although he is facing some struggles now he knows that he is taking the right steps to change his circumstances (he is not stuck) and he has found a safe community where he can express his passion for MMA.