Before these readings, I understood care in education and youth development as the act of showing empathy and respect for one another in a youth/school setting. This care could be a teacher to student, student to teacher, student to student, and overall ideally a common theme within a given environment. To have an environment that embraces the ability to care for one another, you see youth and adults understand a wide range of perspectives and varying needs. No one is put into a "you should feel this way" type of box but rather everyone puts themselves into the shoes of another. This form of care helps people to understand where others are coming from and how to support each other within a given environment to see individualized growth and interconnected growth.
Some quotes that stuck out to me in the text are as follows,
"When confronting stark realities they have never thought about, or have chosen not to see, many white students experience palpable pain and disconcerting disequilibrium."
"Caring within a structure plagued by inequality takes multiple forms, and at some moments when we think we are caring for students of color we actually are harming them because we are failing to counter a social structure that treats them unequally."
"What is needed, as described by researcher Rosalie Rolòn-Dow is critical care that responds to students’ actual personal lives and to the institutional barriers they encounter as members of racialized groups."
"Teachers must understand individual students within their concrete sociopolitical contexts and devise specific pedagogical and curricular strategies to help them navigate those contexts successfully."
Yesterday I was calling parents to make sure I had the correct schooling information for youth that I was enrolling in an ACN Program (after school program that provides students with school credit). Specifically, I spoke to one mother who has two children of color, not giving names I would like to tell their story as this is something I felt impacted by and shows an example of the types of experiences I have with the demographic I work with.
I spoke to this mom for over 20 minutes, at the moment I was pressed for time and had a lot on my plate but I knew my attention was meant to be with her. She talked to me about how difficult the process was for her to enroll her kids into a new school system. Currently, she faces many hurdles, the first being her eviction from her apartment, the second being lack of internet connection, the third being her multiple jobs/time management, the fourth being the lack of support the school provides her, and the fifth being the fear of DCYF coming to take her kids for not enrolling them in a new school quick enough. I could elaborate, as she was very open and vulnerable with me although her struggles are not what I want the focus of me writing about our experience to be. What I really want to point out, was as she was speaking with me all I kept thinking to myself was, "she cares so much for her kids and she is so motivated to keep them safe and push forward regardless of their circumstances, which, one after the other obstacles sadly came into her path."
What I wish I could have done at that moment was drop my job role and support her specifically in the process of getting her kids into school. Although I could not do this, as we spoke we both acknowledged that some of the blocks/problems she was facing in getting them enrolled were out of her control. Luckily, what I was able to do for her, was reassure her that her kids have a safe place in our programs and that they are a joy to have. I would also like to add, that since her students are not enrolled in a school currently they are not able to be officially enrolled through the ACN. Besides this factor right away the Executive Director and I did not think twice as to whether to keep her kids in our program. "Teachers may think of caring as unconditional praise, or as quickly incorporating cultural components into the curriculum, or even as lowering standards. On the contrary, others have argued, an ethic of care means a combination of respect, admiration, and rigorous standards." In programs, I try very hard to hold all youth to the same standards as other youth while still acknowledging their individualized circumstances, including her kids.
To elaborate, specifically one of her children has autism. Previously, staff have occasionally used the Nintendo Switch as a way to keep him engaged and stop him from acting out. I have tried to enforce that the Switch should only be used at the end of the program during free time, not during the program (unless a specific circumstance arises where it is needed), because youth may get into a cycle where they think that they shouldn't participate or attend the activities that others are. There are ways to help youth stay on task even if they are not in the same place as other youth with their goals within certain programs or activities. Although her son with autism may need more assistance with some things and extra attention, I am happy to know that he is getting the same opportunities for advancement as others.
All in all, I would like to say that regardless of any persons race, religion, socioeconomic status, mental health, disabilities exd, I honor that the space I work cultivates a caring environment for all. It's not always easy to have a safe environment, people who may not have has as much education or have been in unsafe environments, can easily make mistakes. Regardless we should all strive to give constructive and caring feedback not "I am at this level so you should be too."Sometimes this is hard for people to comprehend when life experiences are different from others (youth and adults included). Although, having an environment that acknowledges everyone's starting point rather than getting offended or pointing the finger is very important. Education and empathetic conversations are important to be had. When someone acts from a place of learned trauma or engrained behavior we need to focus on taking the empathetic and caring steps to help correct them.
At times I have noticed, specifically on social media, how quickly people get offended or create divisions. People do this without finding a middle ground or empathizing with where a person has come from and their life experiences. People online sometimes lack int the ability to simply listen, learn and understand anothers story and at least move towards a better place, even if it's still not where they should be. I would like to end off just by saying how grateful I am to be part of a work environment and a major that allows everyone involved to have open conversations and approach each other with constructive criticism in a caring way. There is still a lot of work to be done in regards to prejudice of all kinds but with one step at a time, and one kind conversation at a time these things can lead to tremendous growth on an individual and collective level.
Thank you for your post Dana and for sharing this story. The thing that resonates most strongly for me is how clearly the environment and not the individual are to blame for this mother's struggles. Typically, she might be seen as a bad mother, and she worries that the state will act on this belief to take her children away. The state is willing to invest government resources in the traumatic act of removing her children, but is the state willing to invest in what this mother needs? Support for getting her children enrolled? Living wage?
ReplyDeleteI love that you shared your experience and that the parent felt like she could be so open with you. But that really goes to show that care is so much more than what we think it is. By you taking the time to talk with her even though you had other things to do shows how something small can go a long way for the people around us.
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